Hypergamy-proof model to effective Hinge profile

Have dating apps run you dry? Have you sent one too many futile Hinge likes to women who are, frankly, in your incredibly distinct league? Here is the problem: dating as a c*sgender, h*terosexual man in today’s age is more difficult now than ever before. Why? We are living in a perpetual “buyer’s market,” in which women hold nearly all power in the advancement of courtship.

Let us face it — women’s standards fluctuate as rapidly as their hormones, often resulting in shooting higher than they can realistically match. Recent studies prove this theory and have ascribed a name to it: hypergamy, which has been defined as the phenomenon of one partnering into a social caste higher than their own. Because of this, it is crucial that you have more “going for you” than your looks.

The good news is that there is hope! All you have to do is understand your weaknesses, recalibrate and change your profile. The end goal is simple: stand out. Show your personality a little! To assist you in this refinement, we admins here at r/Hypergamy have rolled out a foolproof guide to help you out.

Method One: The Short King Larp

Tall, over 6-foot men will almost always usurp a short king from their place, but you have to remember that your height is the least interesting part about you. Tall men are a dime a dozen, so what you have to do is pretend to be shorter than you are. It is how you stand out, and how you can weed out superficial women. This allows your personality to shine. Find that genuine woman, captivate her, set up a date and watch her melt when she sees how the so-called 5’7” man towers over her.

Note: You must be 6’2” or above to pull this move. Success rates vary. Shoe inserts do not count.

Method Two: (Un)Ethical (Non)Monogamy

If you have ever spent an excessive amount of your time swiping and liking away on Hinge, you have certainly stumbled upon a few profiles that practice ethical non-monogamy — or, ENM — looking for a third. In this method, you will set up a profile mirroring this model. When (not if) you secure a date, show up disheveled. Stipple some red blush on your cheeks to give the appearance of tears. Tell your date how your partner suddenly dumped you, and you will instantly garner sympathy. She will be relieved she gets you all to herself now. This is also a good way to test whether she will draw the line on you sleeping with other people during your relationship … You are going to want to get a read on that as soon as possible …

Method Three: Return On Investmentmaxxing

Money lasts longer than a relationship, but why not combine the two? Send a like to a woman you deem worthy, along with a question: “Do you have an Acorn account? What about Kalshi? Polymarket?” You really have her best interest at heart. She will see your tenacity, and she will be charmed. The key here is to show how you will provide for her in the future. If you have your own peptide start-up, make sure to bring that up as well.

Method Four: Buzzed

This one is quite straightforward. Set up a date, cancel it and then set another. Keep her hanging. The day before you see her, buzz all of your luscious locks clean off! This is best if you break the news via an Instagram close friends post. Extra credit if she is the only account on your close friends. If she calls off the date, you have effectively purged her from your system. If she cannot handle you at your baldest, she never deserved you in your prime.

So, these methods worked. What now? Your Hinge inbox is now filled to the brim. Do not worry, and do not archive their messages. Even if you have lost all of the love for the game, there is one final trick and power move to play. Tell her you hate replying to messages on the apps, ask for her number and then ghost her after she shares it. If you think this is cruel, you have lost sight of the end goal: to terrorize women the same way they terrorize high-value men like you.