Courtesy of Rose Bialk
Dear Spill It,
The other day I was laying in the grass at the field below the reflection pool. I saw two people of which I had mild attraction to flirting and doing other such couple things. I was sitting in the shade and they were laying in the sun. What I know is that someday the sun will shine on me too. The hard part is getting through the night. I suppose my question is the following: How do you get through yearning (without demonizing it) when you know you cannot force anything?
To expand upon the metaphor if I were to move myself into the sun I would be leaving behind my roots and I couldn’t properly grow. If I live in fear or anger of the sun then when it shines on me I will not want to grow. How do I fix this without going into the AO3 mines?
From,
Introspective Yearner
Dear Introspective Yearner,
The beginning of the 2026 academic year at Lewis & Clark was punctuated by low clouds and dark afternoons — the rainfall all too imminent. For many students, the mournful weather came too soon and took the summer warmth. But, like all things, it passed. The cold was not, as it seemed to imply, an early fall. It was merely a taste — giving my friends and me just enough time to sport our new sweaters and pumpkin spice lattes. The sun, of course, returned. Although most of the summer days are behind us, they are not completely gone.
It may have been one of these sunny days that you lay in the grass below the reflection pool, watching young love blossom in the sun. What is hard about this observation is that it is merely that — an observation. From your standpoint in the shade, you have no access to the interiority of these people. All you know is that they are attractive, and that they are in the sun, and you are in the shade.
You are right, of course. The sun will shine on you too. I add this: it will shine sooner than you think.
Yearning, like many emotions, is complex. As you mentioned, the tendency with longing is to force yourself to believe that the yearning has no place in your head. My advice is to fight that tendency. It may seem contradictory, but allow yourself to feel the yearning, explore and understand it. Sing sad songs, write sad poetry. To use your metaphor, let yourself grow. Nurture your feelings. Honor them. In chasing something, you move too fast to understand what you actually want. In the words of the legendary R&B girl group TLC: “Don’t go chasing waterfalls.” Lean into yourself, go with what you know and the rest will come naturally.
Sincerely, Noah-Knows-All
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