Rose Bialk/The Mossy Log
Dear Crushing Catch,
Somehow, in a strikingly unlikely fashion, November seems to be both the month of unexpected heartbreak and unexpected affairs. Something is in the air, although what, I am not entirely sure. Yes, finals and midterms have just melded together to become one big test of character, and yes, the usual early winter cocktail of cold, rain and no sleep has become a sort of cruel and unusual punishment. Still, we all want connection, and, if nothing else, someone to procrastinate studying with.
This search for connection (or something like it) is a little more complicated nowadays then one might want. Nobody wants to trust anyone, yet we all want to be trusted. Nobody wants to take a risk, yet a risk taken on us is always appreciated. In short, nobody seems to have time for romance, yet we all want it. This is not to say that romance is dead, or that we should not want romance. It is only to say that when we do meet a guy — eye roll — that is totally sweet, kind and cute, we cannot help but wonder what the catch is.
“The catch” is perhaps the most frustrating of all dating truths. This is what happens when the facade fades and you start to get to know someone more intimately. It is the fatal flaw, the final test. Whether we like it or not, we all have a catch. Deciphering whether or not it is something you can live with is the key to deciding if a relationship (casual or otherwise) is meant to be. People are not perfect, and we all have flaws, but some flaws are harder to get by. This is the frustrating part — it is not actually about knowing another person, but instead, knowing yourself. What are your dealbreakers? What are the things that make someone compatible, or incompatible?
When we meet someone new, we naturally try to look for a catch in them. It looks like the cute guy’s flirty personality is perhaps his. This, however, is not necessarily true. In my experience, “the catch” is not something that you can look for and find. It is not anticipatory. It is something that will become clear to you in time. It is your job, if you like someone, to put yourself out there and make the move. He might just have a “flirty personality.” He might actually be flirting. The scary truth is that you will never know until you try.
Sincerely, Noah-Knows-All
About the Author
Well said!
So true!