Rose Bialk/The Mossy Log
Dear Spill It,
One glaring issue I run into at this school is that it’s IMPOSSIBLE to date anyone on campus. It feels like every person here knows at least one person who knows you. You know the theory where you’re two handshakes away from a celebrity? That. I’m so tired of the inconvenience of dating apps, but I’m too nervous to try anything with anyone here? What should I do?
From,
Lost Lovebug
Dear Lost Lovebug,
There are a few very iconic trademarks of the liberal arts college. Some will point out the obvious focus on the humanities. Others will notice the extracurricular activities: wonderfully weird, artsy and unconventional. There is also the extremely small student body.
I propose another, more insidious feature of the liberal arts criteria, one that is indeed noticeable, questionably iconic, but overlooked when describing the endless opportunities at Lewis & Clark — the rumor.
This is perhaps the reason why many LC students, like you, find it impossible to date on campus. It is not just that everyone knows everyone, it is that everyone talks about everyone. Honestly, who can blame us? We are literally cooped up in the middle of the woods, completely isolated from the outside world. The only things within walking distance from campus are giant houses and trees, not so amusing for the average college student.
In short, you are worried that because everyone knows everyone, and everyone talks about everyone, dating means that your intimate conversations, moments and exchanges will be the hot new scandal around campus. This is a completely fair and understandable concern. I think it also makes sense because you may want a clean slate with someone. If someone knows or has heard about you, that feels impossible.
My first piece of advice comes from the wise words of Kesha. Kesha knows a bit about rumors and gossip. As a public figure in the early 2000s, she was subjected to a press that was obsessed with celebrities’ personal affairs. If anyone knows anything about gossip, it is the Y2K party girls. In her song “Let ‘Em Talk,” she exclaims, “Shake that ass, don’t care if they talk about it … just let ‘em talk about it.” I agree. It is inevitable that people are going to talk, you cannot control that. What you can control is the people in your life who believe what you say and will even defend you if need be. Surround yourself with people who take you at your word, rather than someone else’s.
My second piece of advice is that you are not restricted to dating on campus. If that makes you uncomfortable, you do not have to! This also does not mean turning to dating apps if you do not want to. Go to social events off campus, talk to people at concerts and parties. Contrary to popular belief, meeting in the wild is not dead.
If you surround yourself with people who will not listen to the noise, and find someone you trust (on or off campus), I promise you, like Kesha, will shake that ass and not care if they talk about it.
Sincerely,
Noah-Knows-All
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