Vivian Kalla/The Mossy Log
During my first summer home from college, I spent too many hours scrolling through Instagram. I browsed my peers’ stories and posts and felt a familiar bitter sting of jealousy. Everyone seemed to be posting from a sunny beach in Mexico, or gorgeous coastline in Italy. What was I doing? Sitting at home with my cats, missing my friends and going on the occasional outdoor outing. It felt so unfair that other students got to have epic summer adventures while I spent most of my time at home.
This feeling of jealousy is not something new to me. I have felt it many times growing up — visiting my friends’ houses which were much grander than mine or seeing them show off shiny new tech after winter break. Of course, there have been many times at Lewis & Clark where I have felt this — hearing classmates discuss vacation plans for breaks, or not having to worry about needing financial aid data to know if they could afford another year at school. This summer, the feeling was back again to haunt me as I lay in bed while it seemed as if everyone else traveled the world.
I know I am not the only one at this school who feels this way. I have talked to friends who worry about not being able to afford the rising tuition costs and whose breaks do not consist of globetrotting adventures, but rather time at home with family. Yet, somehow, it can feel as if you are the only one who does not have it all.
This feeling does not reflect reality, despite how alone you may feel. It is so easy to get caught up in your own world and forget the bigger picture — you are not alone, and even though you may have less than others, you are still lucky.
For one, there is almost always more to the story. An Instagram story, for example, is just a tiny snapshot into someone’s life, and while it may seem like they live in paradise there is so much more you do not know about them. It is cliche, but it is true — social media is a highlight reel. Yes, someone may be spending a month in Greece and it looks like heaven, but they also have personal struggles they do not broadcast on social media. It is nearly impossible to fully know a person, and it is unrealistic to expect to understand someone from their curated social media alone.
Even though my summer was not as exciting as others’, I still had many fun moments, and looking back I am grateful. Yes, I was laying in bed bored, but it was a relaxing change from the busy school year, and I was with my best friend — my cat Bingus. Even experiences that seem mundane are still meaningful and can bring us joy. We just have to look for it. Spending time with loved ones is a special experience we are fortunate to have, even if it is not in the form of an exciting vacation.
Looking at the bigger picture, I realize that I was lucky to even see my family. Many international students were unfortunately unable to return home this summer due to fears and complications over student visas with the new presidential administration. Thinking about their experience, I feel extremely fortunate to have been able to go home, something I am sure is true for many other domestic students too.
When we look from an even broader perspective, we all have something to be grateful for — we are all able to access higher education. Regardless of one’s feelings about LC, we should still recognize that we are fortunate to be here.
Since we are at an institution with students from many different backgrounds, there are almost certainly others who can relate to our experiences. I think if we look deeply, we will discover those who understand us and find reasons to look back on the past with gratitude.
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