By Genavieve Harrison
Do you wish you could go to a place where you could feel safe, happy, respected and at peace?
Do you want to forget all your worries and just play with cats all day?
If you answered yes to these questions, a getaway to Bingusland might be perfect for you!
Located in what is formerly known as “Washington, D.C.,” Bingusland has transformed a region once filled with the scum of the Earth into a paradise.
Bingusland boasts a variety of exciting activities. Dine at one of our premier cat cafes with adorable, cuddly buddies to keep you company with no one trying to get your attention by gesturing at you to take your earbud out. Soar over the city in a cat-shaped hot air balloon fueled by burning remains of some of the most despicable former residents of the old city. Watch a free drag performance, wear whatever you want and have no fear that someone’s degenerate, crusty son will whistle at you. Sleep comfortably in the company of a cat, if you wish. Dog-lovers need not apply.
Get away this spring break to a truly peaceful destination where you can actually feel safe, respected and calm — Bingusland.
*We care about peace, quiet and basic respect, so all men are born into a prison, located in what used to be called the “White House.” If they have proven themselves, they can earn parole. This creates a harmonious environment where everyone can feel safe and respected.
**Bingusland is a place of tranquility, if you are a man and interested in visiting you will be subjected to a rigorous background check, an in-depth behavior test and a week-long quarantine. Denial may still occur if your demeanor is not deemed sufficient. Please remember that we are trying to create a paradise and if we reject you, it is personal, so consider making some changes.
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