By Halcyon Orvendal
With the new year comes a litany of resolutions: some attainable and some nearly impossible. While most are well-intentioned, such resolutions can quickly devolve into unhealthy mentalities and harmful behaviors.
Toxic perfectionism is especially evident when creating these resolutions. Take, for example, weight loss goals — the quintessential New Year’s resolution that is seldom achieved.
In Western culture, thinness is assumed to be synonymous with “health,” and “health” is assumed to be synonymous with “value,” even when the two statements rarely hold truth. These harmful narratives frequently plague the minds of impressionable young people, especially women, laying the foundation for insecurity, negative self-talk and disordered behaviors. As of 2020, a Harvard study reported that around 28.8 million people will have dealt with an eating disorder at some point in their lives. Additionally, a 2023 study found an estimated 22% of adolescents worldwide have shown signs of disordered eating.
Many dismiss their own disordered behavior because they do not show stereotypical signs of illness. This highlights a key misunderstanding of restrictive eating disorders. While extreme thinness is often seen as the blaring red alarm bell of the disorder, it is not its root cause. Eating disorders are first and foremost mental disorders, not always physical ones.
Because of the perfectionist nature of eating disorders, resolutions themselves can become a gateway to mental illness. Even when the intended goal is outwardly simple — “I just need to lose these last ten pounds” or “I’ll swap out certain staples of my diet to low-calorie alternatives” — toxic perfectionism can negate positive results by moving the ever-changing goal post of success. Ten pounds can quickly turn to thirty, low-calorie alternatives change to skipped meals, and soon disordered thoughts become full-blown eating disorders. Because of the pervasive nature of restrictive eating disorders, it is common for those living with one to dangle the metaphorical carrot of incremental goals in the pursuit of adapting to a different, idealized body type. However, when a small goal — such as losing ten pounds — is completed, it no longer feels satisfactory, a rude awakening that you cannot hate yourself into loving your body.
But what is to be done to collectively combat these mental monsters? For starters, our culture must move past the incorrect assumption that “thin” and “healthy” are one and the same. Unhealthy thinness can bring about a host of dangerous symptoms — deterioration of muscle tissue, poor bone density, anemia, weakened immune system and jeopardized heart health — all of which decrease one’s quality of life.
Instead of placing the pursuit of thinness on a pedestal, we should employ the concept of health at every size, or HAES. This idea speaks to how size is not always a proper indicator of health — additionally, optimal health can be reached in a wide range of weights and sizes. In short, HAES reminds us that you do not need to be considered thin to be healthy. When applied to the context of New Year’s resolutions, HAES can better direct us towards meaningful steps we can take in the journey of taking care of ourselves, both mentally and physically. In place of rigid restrictive goals, instituting regular self-care is beneficial. Whether this takes shape by enjoying food freedom or cooking nutritious meals with loved ones, prioritizing your physical and mental well-being is a sustainable resolution that allows for growth without judgment.
If you or a loved one are struggling with disordered eating, contact the National Eating Disorders Helpline at (800) 931-2237 or text “NEDA” to 741741 for immediate support.
About the Author
