By Vivian Kalla
In light of the recent mascot nomination survey sent out to students, which opened on Jan. 27, The Mossy Log elected to interview campus stoners about their ideas for potential new mascots for Lewis & Clark. Enshrouded by the haze-filled greenery of smoke spots like Stumps and the Gazebo (RIP Narnia), reporters met with the most enlightened of the Palatine Hill Potheads.
Seeking profound insight into the ascended minds of undergraduate marijuana advocates, our talented and professional reporters went undercover, clad in Carhartt beanies, drug rugs and fanny packs, hoping to better understand the stoner perspective through a firsthand, immersive ethnographic approach, including but not limited to participant observation, cultural immersion, fieldnotes and informal interviews.
Blaze D. Greene ’25, who was interviewed at the Gazebo at 11 a.m., did not realize that LC had a mascot, let alone was seeking to change it.
“I just thought they named the bus ‘The Pio,’” he said, rolling his third joint in the 20-minute interview on a Scooby Doo-themed rolling tray. “I had no idea we had a mascot called ‘The Pio,’ too. Is that what the dog on LC merch in the bookshop is supposed to be? Also, do you want a hit? La Mota came out with this new strain called ‘Blissful Ignorance.’”
Greene, despite several attempts to further engage with him, kept uncontrollably laughing at a banana slug on the ground, who he named Houdini.
“Man, am I zoinked right now,” he said, as he zipped up his fanny pack and shoved it deep into the recesses of his leaf-patterned backpack. “I just realized my class started three minutes ago. Good luck finding a new mascot, dude. I gotta go.”
Our reporters followed Greene out of the Gazebo and towards Stumps, where they found their second interviewee.
Graham Stone ’25 seemed to have mixed up LC and PSU’s mascots, proclaiming that “While the symbols of Norse mythology have been bastardized by the alt-right, they still have such negative modern connotations that it’s great that LC is moving away from symbols of white power such as the Viking.”
The talk was regularly interrupted by freshmen who trekked up to the clearing, searching the soggy ashtray for any half-smoked roaches that might have been left behind.
“That being said, I don’t understand why everyone is so upset about the Vikings being our mascot,” complained Stone, while sprinkling dried lavender leaves into their rose quartz pipe. “I wish people would redirect their efforts towards rebuilding Narnia.”
Narnia, a beloved smoke spot on the graduate campus that only seniors this year will remember, was brutally torn down in Fall of 2022 — a loss that profoundly impacted the ganja-inclined community here on campus. Much like Maggie’s, Narnia is often remembered with a nostalgic fondness.
When asked if they had any suggestions for a potential new mascot, Stone stared blankly at a tree for 40 seconds, before asking if anyone had brought any snacks. A reporter offered them a half-eaten bag of Takis, forgetting all journalistic ethics about not bribing sources, which was gratefully accepted. When asked the question a second time, Stone eagerly, if not slowly, began Googling “cool potheads google scholar” and “classic stoner icons 2012 tumblr.”
“Maybe Snoop Dogg?” they suggested, chewing with their mouth open. “I also hear that Martha Stewart also smokes a lot,” they added absent-mindedly, while red Takis crumbs fell into the open grinder on their lap.
Exasperated with Stone’s distracted responses, The Mossy Log reporters politely thanked them for their time and politely declined the fourth offer to partake in their preferred strain of indica (“It’s all about that mellow body high, man!”), before journeying over to Pallets, in hopes of finding a truly enlightened stoner.
Herb N. Thusiast ’28 was originally hesitant to be interviewed for The Mossy Log, but immediately loosened up once one of our journalists complimented his “dope ass bong,” and asked where he got his “super cool lighter” (CannaStyle, for those who are in the market. We do not receive any compensation for our recommendation.) He vaguely remembered an email talking about a mascot survey.
“I’m a dog person, so I don’t really mind our mascot right now,” said Herb. “My friend was talking about the mascot and decolonization or something the other day, but I was absolutely zooted, and wasn’t really paying close attention, so I don’t really feel informed. I do think it would be cool to give the dog a new name, like ‘Scruffy’ or ‘Diggedy Dawg’ or something like that.”
Herb’s friend Marjory Taylor Keef ’28 (the Jessica of stoner names) showed up a few minutes into the interview, had come directly from a SOAN class, and was feeling particularly informed that day about long-standing colonial legacies on campus and in Portland.
“Something definitely has to change,” Keef said, all the while rolling a Kratom/THC/Mugwort joint. “I don’t really know what else would be a good mascot, but obviously I’m all for decentering those colonizers.”
However, when asked about administration efforts to change the mascot, Keef responded “What? No, I didn’t realize there was a survey about it. I think that expecting students to check their emails so frequently really goes to show how consumerist and technology-addicted our society is. I’m really trying to be in the present, lately, so I deleted TikTok and have been limiting the amount of Instagram Reels I watch. You’ll have to send me the survey, though, it’s cool that they’re doing that.”
Altogether, The Mossy Log editorial board felt that our investigation was somewhat successful, as we uncovered and shed light upon the stoner demographic’s thoughts surrounding the mascot change. Despite very few actual suggestions or recommendations, the assigned reporters described their interviewing experiences as “enlightening, thought-provoking and altogether entertaining.”
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