By Rose Bialk
Does the thought of spiders crawling all over you evoke a chilling feeling of fear? Or perhaps it is the idea of unhappy spirits, back from the dead, haunting you forever that brings true terror? It is possible that the image of an evil, masked killer chasing you with a chainsaw is most horrifying to you. Or maybe, none of these things elicit true fear within you. Instead, perhaps, your biggest fear is about death or the potential of tragedy in life. This is the case for many members of the Lewis & Clark community who offered insight into their biggest fears during this year’s spooky season.
While there are a variety of fears across the campus community, they can be broken down into general categories. Unsurprisingly, one common fear is death, though this means something different for each person. On an existential level, Melanie Worthington ’25 shared a fear of dying and not knowing what comes afterward. She explained that since she was a child, she has felt dread towards the idea that one day, she will die.
“It’s really hard for me to accept that there is going to be a day where I just don’t exist,” Worthington said.
In a more physical sense, Associate Professor of Rhetoric and Media Studies Bryan Sebok fears the gradual process of death.
“I’m probably more afraid of dying as a process than dying as a destination,” Sebok said. “The idea of being infirmed, disabled, being incapable of getting better, in need of constant care,” Sebok said.
For Talie Bocci, a weekend circulation coordinator at Watzek Library, her fears about dying surround her loved ones. She established her biggest fear to be losing one of her children. She believes this fear comes from the strong sense of responsibility she feels for her kids.
“I think once I found out I was pregnant, I realized that the world didn’t revolve around me anymore, and suddenly my responsibilities were to somebody else,” Bocci said.
Connecting to Bocci’s fear of losing a child, another common theme was loss. For Sophie Relman ’25, the thought of no longer having her loved ones in her life brings terror, regardless of how she were to lose them.
“I’m not sure if I mean death or just not having them anymore — probably both,” Relman said.
For Relman, the fear of losing loved ones is connected to the emotional pain that would come with being alone.
“I rely on other people a lot for security, like how humans do in general. If I didn’t have anyone to count on then that would really suck,” Relman said.
The fear of losing something extends to ideas and being, as understood by Lily Campbell ’27. Her biggest fear is becoming extremely successful in the public spotlight, and then failing, with various admirers to bear witness to her defeat. While connected to a general fear of failure, she clarifies that it is deeper than that.
“If you fail and no one was around to see it, that can be a personal loss, which is scary, (but) I feel like if people see you, it follows you around,” Campbell said.
For Alula Hirst ’25, choosing just one biggest fear was not possible, though one horror she shared was the idea of a lack of free will in life. She explained that having agency to change her life is important to staying motivated — and that without this idea of agency, the world seems pointless.
“I think I just need to have free will and feel like I have agency in my life to be able to handle everything,” Hirst said.
The last hot topic when it comes to LC’s fears is pain. This relates to Hirst’s other fear: being overly aware of issues around her. She feels emotionally overwhelmed and scared by the variety of personal and global problems, and described this as a fear of over-awareness.
“Having too much awareness, being too aware of what’s going on with myself, too aware of what’s going on in the world, because current events make me sad,” Hirst said.
Physical pain is a cause for fear too, as Grace MacDonald ’28 shared. Her biggest fear is needles, specifically in a medical context when large needles are needed to draw blood.
“I think it just really scares me the idea of a needle taking or putting stuff into me, it freaks me out. And then also, I just don’t want to get hurt,” MacDonald said.
The fears of the LC community show that horror movies and Halloween decorations may not always accurately depict our biggest fears. While monsters, killers and weapons, as well as death-related imagery (skulls, coffins and ghosts) are common around Halloween, they do not always dig deep into our minds. So, next time you watch a scary movie, go to a haunted house or see someone dressed in a frightening costume, remind yourself that there are much bigger things to fear.
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