Ella Dunn / The Mossy Log
Released in January 2025, “Balloonerism” is Mac Miller’s second posthumous album. It was recorded in 2014 as he worked on his critically-acclaimed mixtape, “Faces.” Unreleased versions of “Balloonerism” have been floating around the internet since it was recorded in 2014, yet it was never officially released until recently simply because Miller had a plethora of albums in the works which ended up taking precedence. In a statement released by Miller’s estate on Instagram in 2024, “Balloonerism” is referred to as “a project that was of great importance to Malcolm.” His estate, which has handled all posthumous releases with great respect, claimed “the project showcases both the breadth of his musical talents and fearlessness as an artist.”
The album’s introductory track, “Tambourine Dream” features a percussive, thirty-second tambourine performance by Miller, foreshadowing the chaos of his mental and emotional state, which is explored throughout the album. 2014 was a turbulent time for Miller. He was in the midst of a transition between labels, and was coping with his newfound fame through drug usage. Miller worried his fame would change his personality and disrupt his already skewed perception of himself. In “Rick’s Piano,” Miller says “please don’t give me any credit/ that’s how people get jaded/ Please don’t nod your head/ and please don’t tell me/ I made it/ cause people start to get/ worse once they think they the greatest.” Despite the abundance of love and praise he was receiving, Miller was worried this positive attention would inflate his ego and turn him into someone he did not want to become.
The first words uttered in the album come from the second song “DJ’s Chord Organ.” The vocals are performed by SZA and Thundercat in the chorus, with SZA taking the mantle for the first and only verse of the song. SZA sings of a “Mr. Postman” who has “been up for three days.” Mr. Postman could be seen as a double entendre, with Miller as the postman who is so focused on his career he neglects himself, as well as a personification of drug addiction preventing the user from being able to sleep. SZA posted a touching message on Instagram expressing her gratitude prior to the album’s release, saying Miller was the first friend she made when she moved to Los Angeles. She bookends her message with #longlivelarryfisherman, a reference to Miller’s jazz music alias. Larry Fisherman also received production credits for “Balloonerism.”
There are many instances of tragic coincidental references to Miller’s untimely passing due to drug overdose, such as the opening line of the third track “Do You Have A Destination?” Miller says “I went to sleep faded, then I woke up invisible,” alluding to the dissociative feeling of waking up after a long night of drug usage, as well as invisible meaning he has passed from a drug overdose and is now a ghost. Of course, Miller did not know he would pass away from an overdose, but he was aware of his problem with drugs and the path they were leading him down. Listening in 2025, this takes on a second meaning for the listener who is aware of his passing and its cause. Later in the same verse, he voices the extent of his dedication to making music, saying “I gave my life to this shit, already killed myself.”
Another instance of this unintentional foreshadowing appears in the track, “Funny Papers” in which Miller says he thought no one ever died on a Friday, coincidentally predicting his own death which occurred on a Friday.
“Friendly Hallucinations” depicts Miller grappling with the concept of reality and what he considers to be real. The chorus claims “It’s only real if it’s real to you,” implying that reality is more subjective than it may appear. Miller continues this existential train of thought by posing the question: “Is it real if you can’t hold it in your arms but it can touch you?” This is another allusion to the dissociative effects certain drugs can have, rendering the user incapable of differentiating between “reality” and drug-induced hallucinations.
The theme of reality being at odds with one’s imagination is further explored in the track “Excelsior” in which reality is distorted by a child’s innocent point of view and lack of experience in the “real world.” Miller reminisces on the seemingly inconsequential problems of childhood, such as playground bullies and the obligation to eat brussels sprouts. Miller mentions how he used to wish he could be a magician, and wonders how his life lost the unbridled joy of his childhood. In the outro, Miller releases his inner child, enthusiastically yelling, “ABRACADABRA!” symbolically fulfilling his childhood dream of being a magician. While Miller was never able to truly become a magician, he was able to use music as a medium which helped him come to terms with the trajectory of his life.
The final track of the album, “Tomorrow Will Never Know,” is a hauntingly beautiful finale to the psychedelic experience of “Balloonerism.” Throughout the song, an unfinished cut-off automated message is played after a call is not picked up. This is another heartbreaking song in light of Miller’s death, where he imagines he will receive calls from his loved ones that he cannot answer. He uses the metaphor of walking “with your head above water” while wearing “shoes made of copper” as a depiction of navigating life while struggling with depression. Despite his best efforts to keep his head above water, Miller feels as though his depression is like wearing shoes made of copper, slowing his every movement with their cumbersome weight. His head is still above water, therefore he is still alive, but the strength of the current and the weight of his copper shoes constantly impede his path. The chorus features Miller questioning what awaits him in the afterlife, wondering if the dead dream like we do. The outro is a simultaneously angelic and tragic synth, with sound effects of a phone ringing and kids playing in the background. Miller, imagining an all-too-realistic scenario in which he overdoses, eerily depicts himself spending his final moments reminiscing about his childhood, and the countless calls he will receive after he has passed which will go unanswered.
Despite the tragic ending of both this album and his life, I do not think Miller would want us to consider his life a tragedy. He may have passed too soon, but that does not change the joy he experienced and instilled in others through making music. There is happiness to be found everywhere, even in mundane, day-to-day interactions. Miller was a big proponent of the influence we have over one another as humans, and how we can use that influence to help each other. I would like to conclude this review with a quote from Miller himself, and I hope it will impact you as much as it did me.
“Smile at somebody today, make someone happy,” Miller said in 2015 to 16Bars.TV “You have more power than you think you do.”
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