Leila Diaz / The Mossy Log
Like every 2000s baby, I was promised a club culture of epic proportions by the pop music and coming-of-age films of my youth. The cheap drinks, the blinding strobe lights, the dance battle that commences after you see the girl you and your squad hate and your rag-tag team of underdog friends pull off a beautifully choreographed and surprisingly in-sync killer move that ends the battle swiftly, resulting in your victory where everyone is cheering and then the girl and her crew storm off.
As I got older, I became disillusioned with The Club, which I have heard is crowded, sweaty and expensive. I am someone who would much rather spend my Friday night staying in and doing puzzles or having a movie night with friends. The glamorous 20-something I thought I would become as a child diva has turned out to be a major adult dork.
After years of avoiding going out, I finally decided to try the club, and what better time to do it than Halloween night? My criteria for the club were simple: no exuberant cover fee, decent drinks (in price and taste) and, most importantly, somewhere to sit when I inevitably got overwhelmed.
My search led me to Holocene, a music and arts venue, nightclub and events space in the heart of SE Portland. The club opened its doors in the summer of 2003 and has been a staple in the Portland community ever since. The main reason I wanted to go to Holocene? Their “Halloween at the Bronze!: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Tribute Event,” of course.
For non-Buffy fans, the Bronze is an all-ages nightclub located in the fictional town of Sunnydale, California. The club would regularly have live music, helping create the show’s iconic soundtrack, featuring Sarah McLachlan’s “Full Of Grace” and Cibo Matto’s “Sugar Water.” It served as a major setting in the show, as 66 of the 144 episodes in the series have at least one scene at the Bronze.
After an hour or two of pre-club rituals (attempting to straighten my hair for that entire time while everyone else got ready and danced) in my friends’ apartment, we embarked to Holocene. We arrived an hour after the doors opened and upon arrival, it did not seem that busy. However, we quickly realized that was because everyone was at the upper deck of the club where the bands Lesser Demons and later on in the night, Crowey were playing covers of popular songs from the show.
My friends and I enjoyed the music from the lower deck, where we danced for a little bit, before quickly realizing that there was a photo booth and ran over to it. The photo booth was located next to the bar, which was incredibly crowded and extremely intimidating. Nevertheless we managed to get drinks — a RumChata slushy which was delightfully strong and cinnamony, as well as a “Buffy’s Blood Orange Margarita” which was my personal favorite as a lover of both blood orange and margaritas. Fancy drinks were priced $12-14, while your canned beers and wines ranged $5-9.
After a bit, my friends and I pushed our way to the upper deck just in time to catch the band playing their last covers of the night — “Zombie” by The Cranberries and “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers. The crowd was thrilled by both of these and had everyone screaming along.
After the cover bands finished their sets, DJ Colin Jones took over, playing everything from fun goth bangers (there were no less than three different covers of “Blue Monday” by New Order played) to Eurobeats.
The highlight of the night, however, was the costume contest. An announcer joined DJ Jones in the booth where they announced that anyone who was in costume and wanted to participate was free to line up in some semblance of order and do a fun little walk in the middle of the dance floor.
Costumes would be judged on audience reaction, meaning whoever received the most screams would win. All of the fan favorites were couples costumes: Morticia & Gomez (and Thing!), a praying mantis with her headless husband and a lesbian Buffy and Spike.
They were invited back to walk for a second round of judgment to determine who the final winner would be. Each couple had some playful choreography to accompany their walk, but ultimately Buffy and Spike won with some choreographed simulated lesbian sex, in which “Buffy” used her stake on “Spike.” To say the crowd went wild was an understatement — it turned into an absolute madhouse in there during her performance.
Following the contest everyone went back to dancing. Reinvigorated by the power of lesbians, I was able to dance for another hour before my friends and I were all too tired to continue. By that time, people were already starting to leave anyway.
Overall my first clubbing experience was delightful. I am sure it being Halloween elevated the night significantly, but I found the whole experience to be approachable and enjoyable. There were places to sit and chat which were utilized by everyone at some point in the night, the music was great and the drinks were scrumptious.
Want to visit Holocene yourself? Check out their website by going to Holocene.org and clicking the “Events” tab for all upcoming shenanigans.
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